we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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