so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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