I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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