what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
