are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
