my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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