i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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