you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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