We need to start having sex underwater more often.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
