I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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