so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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