she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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