The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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