i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
