there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
