Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
