Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
