Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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