i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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