mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
