i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
