My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
