you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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