okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
