ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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