is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
