do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
