My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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