My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
