Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
