There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
