Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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