hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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