a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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