I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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