M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
