i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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