we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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