There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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