Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
