She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
