I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
