This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
