he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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