mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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