I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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