oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
