Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
