I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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