Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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